Sunday, November 23, 2008
Where's Mr. Liberal/Change Obama Now
Clinton as Secretary of State?
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Does Everything Happen For A Reason?
So, perhaps I will find the happy medium. Maybe I'll let this opportunity pass me by and it will turn out to have been a huge mistake. Or alternately I could take the chance and end up losing a lot. Hopefully an answer comes along - I'm sure it will.
Friday Fill-Ins (A few hours after Friday)
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Metathesiophobia - As Talks Become Reality
Metathesiophobia: Fear of change. Yep, that's me. I've been in a slight state of denial since I initiated this job change thought process many months ago. It's been something to talk about, something I may do, a good idea. But today it became a reality - I have officially accepted a position - with a start date and all. December 1st. Of course, I am now in the midst of a tornado of self doubt and questions. While two weeks ago I was certain this was exactly what I needed to do, today I'm full of what ifs, anxiety and fear. I'd venture as far as to call my feelings normal but I assure you they are far from typical for me.
Not to mention the forced acknowledgement of the resistance I am about to subject myself to. As all change is difficult and the new job will be a new program, I expected resistance. I've now seen, in true written word, that the resistance is real, tangible - and though it may be based on unrealistic reasons and a sort of mob thought process misconception - I'm sure it will persist for a while.
And of course, the sudden realization that in a little over a week I will be sending my 2 year old to daycare for the first time. That's another post all together.
If we can recognize that change and uncertainty are basic principles, we can greet the future and the transformation we are undergoing with the understanding that we do not know enough to be pessimistic. (Hazel Henderson)
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Delusions of Order
Occasionally, I have parenting moments where I realize that certain things my parents always did were not as easy as they made it look. I never remember them being exasperated or stressed on my birthday - the treats for school, the presents, the little things - always seemed to fall into place. Hopefully I am able to give my children the same memories - the same delusions of order.
The Inconvenient Truth of Night Shift
I would definitely label myself as a night owl. I've never been so great at waking up early, functioning in the morning - and night shift has seemed to fit very well into my life and personality for the last 5 years. I love my job, I love my shift, the people I work with . I spent a few months doing the day shift thing a few years back and it was... enlightening. The job is different. People everywhere. Noise. Commotion. Family members. Doctors. Residents. Medical students. Managers. Administration. Physical therapists. Pharmacists. Dietary. EVERYONE is there during the day. Night shift is calmer, things go smoothly - there's more autonomy.
So, I've been denying it for the last 5 years... putting it off - ignoring the fact that just as every study and medical professional will tell you - night shift is bad for your body. I was off for a weekend - still had work related things to do - a certification course out of town. And I didn't sleep much, spent too much time out - but the point was, I did it on a day shift schedule.
Despite my very little sleep - I was able to function all weekend - fairly well. Then, much to my surprise - I was somewhat productive on Monday. And Tuesday. And Wednesday. All week. Usually I spend the first half of my week recovering from the weekend of night shift; transitioning back to a normal sleep schedule. For the last few years my most productive day (cleaning, laundry, basics...) has been Thursday - I recover just in time to switch back to night mode.
So, as much as I resist all forms of change - and as much as I will miss my current job and the people I work with - perhaps this job change will be the best thing that I've done in a long time. Maybe it's time to join the non-nocturnal world - where stores, doctors offices and banks will all be open during my waking hours. Who knows - in a year I may be that person who wakes up 2 hours earlier than I have to just to enjoy the morning, some coffee and a newspaper? Nah, let's not get crazy - in a year I'll still roll out of bed 10 minutes before I have to leave in the morning, look in the mirror and be thankful I have short hair and don't wear makeup.

Certifiable
So the new job has this long list of certification requirements. A few basics that I've already done - and then the rest. So I get to spend 5 hours on both Tuesday and Wednesday this week to be certified - ACLS for this course (which I let lapse, so requires 2 nights instead of one). The classes always amuse me a bit. They change every few years depending on whatever research somebody published most recently.
And of course, they're usually taught by education professionals in the healthcare field. Many of them have been in numerous situations they're teaching about - but some haven't. The process of certification is kind of amusing to me. I can memorize anything - but that doesn't really mean I can do it. So I'm in the process of becoming a hypocrite to my own mantra: the best nurses are not always the ones that look best on paper. So in a few months I get to be a letter nazi too - just call me:
Nikki: RN, BSN, BLS, ACLS, PALS, IHTLS, PHRN, CCRN
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
When It Rains, It Pours
I know it really isn't the world's way of making my life more difficult - but on an already not so great day, I actually laughed at myself when I heard the news that there had been a fire at the Metro Center - and Sushi Popo was damaged. Not a big thing, really - and should have no effect on me whatsoever. Except, I am a creature of habit - to an extreme. And I have gone to Sushi Popo every single Thursday night for dinner for almost a year. At the moment I am absolutely convinced that the most recent Metro Center fire is the world's attempt to hammer home the concept of "When it rains, it pours."
And now I'll stop whining and be more mature and say - I'm glad nobody was hurt. I hope the business owners are able to get things up and running again soon.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Methodical Monday Meditations (aka Lists!) music to overdo...
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White Horse (Taylor Swift)
Let It Rock (Kevin Rudolf)
Details in the Fabric (Jason Mraz)
I'd Rather Be With You (Joshua Radin)
A Beautiful Mess (Jason Mraz)
You Don't Know Me (Ben Folds & Regina Spektor)
Entwined (Jason Reeves)
Sunday, November 16, 2008
If Tomorrow Never Comes?
I am acutely aware of my own mortality. I am involved in people's deaths on a very regular basis - sometimes, because it's time for them to go - other times, the reasons are harder to comprehend. Death, even in its most natural of circumstances is a hard concept for most people to comprehend. And when the unexpected is to fault for death's early appearance - people's reactions range an entire spectrum of emotions.
All I know is that I go to work for a 12+ hour shift. We generally spend every moment trying to prolong the lives of 12 random people - 12 hours at a time. Every once in a while I come home with a new awareness of how truly unknown the future is.
So while my world may seem overwhelmingly stressful: trying to figure out how to raise 3 kids - maintain my sanity, drive the right child to the right place, what to feed them, how to dress them, that homework is done and teeth brushed - instead of the headache that usually begins right around bedtime - what I should be doing is realizing that there are people all around me who don't have these moments... to use a work quote - you should live each moment as if it were your last because any one of us could go to sleep tonight and "wake up dead..."
Friday, November 14, 2008
Friday Fill-Ins
2. When I use white out I can't help sniffing it occasionally.
3. My favorite thing to cook is NOTHING!
4. Sushi is something I can't get enough of.
5. That's the thing I love most about abmiguity.
6. My ex always makes me think to myself, what the heck?
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to saving lives, tomorrow my plans include not enough sleep and Sunday, I want to try to hang with the kids with absolutely no sleep!
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Haylie Ann
“A baby is God's opinion that life should go on.” (Carl Sandburg)
Regardless of the circumstances surrounding a new baby - the birth itself seems to - if only momentarily - cause a neutrality, a calm - a truce to all prior conflicts and petty indifferences.
So, this is our peacekeeper for the moment: Haylie. Born at my favorite time: 11:11 on November 12th - weighing in at an impressive 9 pounds 6.5 ounces.
And when the calm passes and reality returns - Kayla will be a great mom both despite and because of the circumstances.
Monday, November 10, 2008
ABC's Executive Homophobes Strike Again
Methodical Monday Mediations (aka Lists!) Disney time...
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Aladdin!
Beauty and the Beast
The Jungle Book
Lion King
Finding Nemo
The Incredibles
Toy Story
Sunday, November 9, 2008
PALS, Funky Monkeys and Drag Queens

So of course after sitting in a class all day Friday - we had to spend some time out. And what better place to go in the Quad Cities than to a drag show? Granted, not exactly Chicago caliber - but add a few shots and it's great entertainment.
So - while it was a bit of a challenge to get up for the remainder of the course on Saturday - we passed without a problem and I am again certifiable. And we spent Saturday night first with some of Carrie's frighteningly liberal friends - nothing like a good interrogation to increase one's desire for alcohol - so we then met my cousin out in downtown Rock Island. He bought me some kind of monkey drink and that was the end of that. I slept the majority of the night in the bathroom - Thanks Jared!
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Proposition 8: Why was it an option?

I'm not going to take the time to go into the long winded arguments for and against gay marriage. My question is: why was this left up to a vote? I don't believe such laws should be a matter of public opinion - rather a judicial and executive interpretation of constitutional laws.

1870: If the question of giving blacks the right to vote had been put to a popular vote, do you think the 15th amendment would exist?
1920: Would a popular vote have given women the right to vote? Or perhaps the same fearful homophobics who waste all their time and energy opposing gay marriage also believe women should be their property?
The civil rights movement, the end of women's suffrage - all of the socially progressive changes that were based on the mistreatment and denial of rights to PEOPLE - happened because of social activism led by a minority group - not a majority popular vote.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Here's Hoping
Regardless of the political affiliations we all have - and regardless of who any of us voted for - this election seemed to bring out the masses - people who generally sat in the background quietly spoke up, stood up, participated. The outcome is what it is. Perhaps the new interest in politics generated by this election can continue through the term.
Emi's interest in this election and every issue around it was inspiring and very interesting to watch. While it may not have had the outcome she hoped for, I think the passion she put into it will continue on - and she learned more by her own interest than any Civics course could ever have taught her. Actually - I seem to have learned more by her interest than I ever cared to in Civics - partially due to her incessant political conversations - and partially because she casually forgot to turn off Headline News when she went to bed - thereby subconsciously subjecting me to the days headlines over and over and over - as I attempted to sleep.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Of Course I Voted...
I made the great 10 minutes drive to vote surrounded by some elderly couples who had minor issues with the technology. I didn't have to wait and have no complaints, but I did truly feel sorry for some of the older folks there. It's unfortunate that after the 70+ years they've been voting, they have to be put on the spot and expected to adapt to technology just to vote. So, I voted - now I have the right to complain for the next four years if it doesn't go well!
Monday, November 3, 2008
Sarah Palin - No political arguments, just simple observations!
Originally uploaded by Fergie1979
Sarah Palin campaign rally - Dubuque, IA
November 3rd, 2008
I know by putting the name "Sarah Palin" in a post I risk starting a long winded and pointless debate - but I assure you this is not a political post. This is a generalized post that could have been applied to the alternative candidate just as easily.
In a society where the generations of the future are seemingly more interested in Facebook, text messages and all ways of avoiding direct communication, I felt obligated to support my 16 year old's devotion to the campaign, and specifically Sarah Palin. While her political views do actually closely mirror my own, I would have been just as inclined to support her interest in politics - regardless of the political party.
Though the drive to Dubuque was incredibly boring and the trip was too spontaneous for my likings, it was a once in a lifetime experience that I wouldn't trade for anything. I assumed that me actually seeing Sarah's speech was out of the question (we left at 9 am to drive 3 hours, waited 2.5 hours for Sarah to arrive) - somehow, a 16 year old, a 6 year old and a 2 year old all waited relatively patiently. Although the 2 year old fell asleep right before the speech began, he woke up about halfway through and joined the loudly cheering crowd.

I do not believe that it is our responsibility as parents to ensure our children have the same views and interests as us. We should ensure that they are raised with the ability to find all the information they need and be able to truly develop their own views and opinions. If, in the future, any of my children decide to develop views that oppose my own, I will wholeheartedly support their passion and willingness to stand up for what they believe in.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
PSD 150 Redefines "Leaving Children Behind"
The 15 hours between this post and my most recent run-in with District 150 will at least make the post more reasonable - which may or may not be a good thing. It seems that I am not the only one who has had issues recently and unfortunately this has not been the only incident.
It seems that my six year old's school didn't think my job was going to be frightening enough for Halloween this year. As on every other Friday, my ex picks up Savannah on Fridays - therefore she goes to the latchkey program at the school. This has never been an issue before (and we are 3 months into the school year).
On this particular Friday I received a call at work from my ex stating that he was at the school to pick Savannah up and she was not there. This was about 5 p.m. (School gets out at 3:15). The school could come up with no explanation - only a latchkey attendant that stated Savannah didn't show up at latchkey. Of course, I immediately wanted to leave work - but instead decided to stay and use the multiple phone lines to call everyone I could. After many phone calls on both ends (including the school attempting to call the bus driver - who was unable to be reached, yet still not back to the bus barn) we learned that Savannah had ridden the bus to my house. Of course, nobody was home (although if the bus would have been anywhere near on time, her sister would have been home). A few more phone calls found Savannah at her father's neighbor's house. She had gotten off the bus at my house and found nobody home. So she walked (about half a mile) to her father's house - to also find an empty house. Luckily, she thought to go to his neighbor's house - who then called him. This was almost 5:30. The bus usually drops Savannah off at 3:45 (although they have been very inconsistent without explanation lately). So - she walked across very busy roads, in the late fall afternoon - from an empty house - to an empty house - without any adult being aware she was even missing. At age 6.
Of course, my initial reaction was to immediately pull her out of school and join the home-school club until I could get out of district. I believe I will settle down to driving her to school and picking her up every day and actively seeking a new house in a district that is not in Peoria.
The explanation is a multitude of communication errors and a very poorly organized and run transportation system for the largest school system in Central Illinois. There have been complaints and problems and I'm sure many traumatized children and yet, nothing changes.
The sequence of events that led to Savannah's "adventure" was as follows:
Her class had a Halloween party so the kids were very rowdy with extra parents at the end of the day. When the teacher was calling names for latchkey, Savannah either didn't hear her name called or it wasn't called. When she raised her hand to tell the teacher, the teacher told all of the kids to put their hands down and be quiet - so, she did.
She then got on the bus and made an attempt to tell the bus driver she shouldn't be on the bus. She said the bus driver was too busy talking to "the lady" and wouldn't listen. She then had multiple friends of hers on the bus attempt to tell the bus driver - they had the same results.
She got off the bus at her regular bus stop, scared and upset - thinking she was going to be in trouble. She eventually made it to an adult, but not without a lot of potential for really bad things to happen.
The latchkey people made no attempt to see where Savannah was, despite the fact that the latchkey fee had been paid in the morning and Savannah is always at latchkey on Fridays.
Again (multiple times), the transportation system had an issue with number of bus drivers so multiple bus routes were combined into one bus - making the bus very late (again, I say).
The school was unable to reach the bus driver to see if Savannah had ridden the bus because - "He didn't have a cell phone." And 2.5 hours after leaving the grade school, the bus still had not returned to the bus barn.
This time, Savannah is okay - though frightened. She will not ride a District 150 again. As soon as possible, she will not attend a District 150 school again. I do not blame the teacher or the school - but the system is not safe. There are too many kids in too many classes on too few busses with not enough regulation.
Savannah was not the first District 150 student with such an issue. And it was not our first issue with the bus. But it will be our last... and I hope the right people do something before a child is really missing, injured, kidnapped or killed.


