Where's Mr. Liberal/Change Obama Now

Come on Obama - nothing like a politician turning back on his empty promises before he even hits the office. As a very openly Republican lesbian, it shouldn't surprise me that Obama has so quickly repressed his on again off again support of LGBT issues. Holding out on even addressing the Don't Ask Don't Tell policy? I vaguely remember listening to months of debates, press conferences and commercials promising "change."

You won the American people with your passion and charisma - to keep them, you'll have to follow through - even if your "changes" meet some resistance.

Clinton as Secretary of State?

Surprisingly I wouldn't oppose Hillary Clinton as secretary of state. After the drama and negativity of the entire election process, I developed a new respect for Clinton and her stance on most issues. As a rare gay Republican - I may have actually voted on the Democratic lines if Hillary had been a choice.

Her views make sense. Although she is pro-choice, she supports finding alternate methods of decreasing the necessity of abortions, rather than aggressively encouraging abortion as an answer to "unwanted" pregnancy. She has a long standing record of supporting LGBT issues. She is liberal and open-minded but not in the socialist way Obama trends towards.

So, hopefully Clinton finds her way into the new government. And with any luck, she'll have a positive influence on the Obama presidency and the future of this country. So - cankles or not - go Hillary.

Does Everything Happen For A Reason?

I have always lived by the ideal that "everything happens for a reason." Unfortunately, it's this concept that's currently making my most recent decisions difficult. I feel like I really should be ready to change jobs - but the signs keep pointing against it. The money isn't adding up - the shifts aren't fitting like they should - staying where I am is beginning to look like the best option.

So, perhaps I will find the happy medium. Maybe I'll let this opportunity pass me by and it will turn out to have been a huge mistake. Or alternately I could take the chance and end up losing a lot. Hopefully an answer comes along - I'm sure it will.

Friday Fill-Ins (A few hours after Friday)

1. The last band I saw live was Matchbox 20. 2. What I look forward to most on Thanksgiving is a nap! (if you don't celebrate thanksgiving, insert your favorite holiday)3. My Christmas/holiday shopping is yet to begin.4. Thoughts of job changes, moving and change fill my head.5. I wish I could wear a bikini.6. Bagpipes are funny.7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to not being in charge! tomorrow my plans include visiting Doug to see how much more hair I can talk him into cutting off and Sunday, I want to SLEEP!

Metathesiophobia - As Talks Become Reality

Metathesiophobia: Fear of change. Yep, that's me. I've been in a slight state of denial since I initiated this job change thought process many months ago. It's been something to talk about, something I may do, a good idea. But today it became a reality - I have officially accepted a position - with a start date and all. December 1st. Of course, I am now in the midst of a tornado of self doubt and questions. While two weeks ago I was certain this was exactly what I needed to do, today I'm full of what ifs, anxiety and fear. I'd venture as far as to call my feelings normal but I assure you they are far from typical for me.

Not to mention the forced acknowledgement of the resistance I am about to subject myself to. As all change is difficult and the new job will be a new program, I expected resistance. I've now seen, in true written word, that the resistance is real, tangible - and though it may be based on unrealistic reasons and a sort of mob thought process misconception - I'm sure it will persist for a while. 

And of course, the sudden realization that in a little over a week I will be sending my 2 year old to daycare for the first time. That's another post all together. 

If we can recognize that change and uncertainty are basic principles, we can greet the future and the transformation we are undergoing with the understanding that we do not know enough to be pessimistic. (Hazel Henderson)

Delusions of Order

Occasionally, I have parenting moments where I realize that certain things my parents always did were not as easy as they made it look. I never remember them being exasperated or stressed on my birthday - the treats for school, the presents, the little things - always seemed to fall into place. Hopefully I am able to give my children the same memories - the same delusions of order. 

The Inconvenient Truth of Night Shift

I would definitely label myself as a night owl. I've never been so great at waking up early, functioning in the morning - and night shift has seemed to fit very well into my life and personality for the last 5 years. I love my job, I love my shift, the people I work with . I spent a few months doing the day shift thing a few years back and it was... enlightening. The job is different. People everywhere. Noise. Commotion. Family members. Doctors. Residents. Medical students. Managers. Administration. Physical therapists. Pharmacists. Dietary. EVERYONE is there during the day. Night shift is calmer, things go smoothly - there's more autonomy. 

So, I've been denying it for the last 5 years... putting it off - ignoring the fact that just as every study and medical professional will tell you - night shift is bad for your body. I was off for a weekend - still had work related things to do - a certification course out of town. And I didn't sleep much, spent too much time out - but the point was, I did it on a day shift schedule. 

Despite my very little sleep - I was able to function all weekend - fairly well. Then, much to my surprise - I was somewhat productive on Monday. And Tuesday. And Wednesday. All week. Usually I spend the first half of my week recovering from the weekend of night shift; transitioning back to a normal sleep schedule. For the last few years my most productive day (cleaning, laundry, basics...) has been Thursday - I recover just in time to switch back to night mode.

So, as much as I resist all forms of change - and as much as I will miss my current job and the people I work with - perhaps this job change will be the best thing that I've done in a long time. Maybe it's time to join the non-nocturnal world - where stores, doctors offices and banks will all be open during my waking hours. Who knows - in a year I may be that person who wakes up 2 hours earlier than I have to just to enjoy the morning, some coffee and a newspaper? Nah, let's not get crazy - in a year I'll still roll out of bed 10 minutes before I have to leave in the morning, look in the mirror and be thankful I have short hair and don't wear makeup.