Friday Fill-Ins

1. My favorite food seasoning is cajun jerk. 
2. Silence is music to my ears.
3. Lucky is a term people use to absolve themelves of responsibility over their own destiny.
4. My job is something I take very seriously.
5. Many people live their whole lives without feeling a thing.
6. Milk was the last thing I bought at the store.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to ordering out at work, tomorrow my plans include sleep and Sunday, I want to go out to lunch!

Methodical Monday Mediations (aka Lists!) Don't make me eat...

food & drink (10 foods i hate) 
¬ 
tomatoes 
baked beans 
tuna 
mayo 
cherry popsicles 
mushrooms 
mustard 
guacamole 
cow tongue (running out of ideas) 
liver

Does the Bible have lesbians?

There's a title that's bound to anger a few angry Christians. I don't honestly know if the Bible has any lesbians, just as the angry and judgemental Christians who insist on condemning homosexuals have no idea if the Bible truly condemns homosexuality. The Bible - like most ancient literature - is bound to the constraints of language - and having been through multiple centuries, many societies and numerous languages - interpretation of many parts of the Bible ends up being whatever the reader wants it to say.

That being said, there are arguments to the presence of lesbians in the Bible. Specifically Ruth and Naomi - argued by the following passage(Ruth 1:16-17):

16And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: 
 17Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the LORD do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me.

This verse is frequently used in Christian HETEROSEXUAL wedding ceremonies. It is a beautiful verse - but it is, in fact - spoken by a woman - to a woman. In my opinion, this is not evidence of lesbians in the Bible - but strong evidence of time, languages and cultures making literal interpretation of the Bible illogical. It does show a deep love between two women - which may be the equivalent of a lesbian relationship in Biblical times - how would we know? And if so, perhaps we should use it to show that despite some popular beliefs - homosexual relationships are not based on sexual desires alone. 

Friday Fill-Ins

1. Right now, I'm feeling anxious. 
2. The beach is where I want to be.
3. How does one say no?
4. The kids keep me on track.
5. Please don't run, cry or yell in the ICU.
6. Cameron, Savannah & Emi fill me with joy.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to prolonging lives, tomorrow my plans include sleep, sleep and more sleep and Sunday, I want to function without sleep!

Methodical Monday Meditations - Music: Lines from Songs

music (favorite lines from lyrics) 


(Garth Brooks, Standing Outside the Fire)
Life is not tried, it is merely survived/If you're standing outside the fire 

(Travis Tritt, It's a Great Day to Be Alive)
It's a great day to be alive/I know the sun's still shinin' when I close my eyes/There's some hard times in the neigborhood/But why can't every day be just this good? 

(Rascal Flatts, Stand)
Cause when push comes to shove/You taste what you're made of/You might bend, till you break/Cause its all you can take/On your knees you look up/Decide you've had enough/You get mad you get strong/Wipe your hands shake it off/Then you Stand, Then you stand 

(Anna Nalick, Breathe {2 am})
Cause you can't jump the track,/we're like cars on a cable,/And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table./No one can find the rewind button boys,/So cradle your head in your hands,/And breathe, just breathe, 

(Jason Mraz, Details in the Fabric)
If it's a broken part, replace it/But, if it's a broken heart then brace it/If it's a broken heart then face it/And hold your own/Know your name/And go your own way/Hold your own/Know your own name/And go your own way/And everything will be fine 

(Better Than Ezra, Under You)
And Ramen Noodles at 4:30 in the morning,/Where we barely could survive, I was never more alive/Under you, I feel your blood flowing out slowly/Under you, let go completely feeling you take over me/Take over me 

(Jeremy Kay, Have It All)

Today I feel like laughing/Seems to be no reason at all/And if the world stops spinning/I'm not afraid to fall/Maybe it's too soon to be sure/But I really do believe that someday/We're gonna have it all/So I try to hard to keep the rhythm of a train/Rolling right along When the ride gets rough you got to carry on

(Five For Fighting, I Just Love You)

I said, Darling, it's late, is everything ok/Silence took over the room/Til she said/I... I just Love You/I Don't Know Why, I Just Do/When are you coming home/I'm coming home soon/And I just love you too

Accidental Insightfulness

*From archives/previous blog*

A while back I found myself lacking in reading material. And as reading is an activity that fills many of my sleepless nights, I went to a bookstore's online site and searched for random (cheap) interesting looking titles. I ended up with about 6 or 7 books. I picked up the longest book first, made it through about 15 pages and decided to start with the others. I flew threw the others - nothing impacted me or was anything other than a momentary escape from reality.

I eventually went back to the first book and continued reading. By the end I had deemed it to be in at least the top 5 best books I've ever read. Not what I expected when I bought it, but I will definitely buy anything this author writes again.

Elliot Perlman - The Seven Types of Ambiguity

It is well written, well organized, hard to read at times - but only because you have to actually think about what you're reading. And despite popular opinion, there really isn't anything wrong with having to put a little thought into a book. The author may write in language that we don't often use in everyday conversations - and some reviews I've read chastise him for this. I personally found it more interesting and intriguing because of the expanded vocabulary.

Perlman did his research - he references literary history with careful accuracy. There are quotes from this book that stick with me - and it's not often that I stop and read the same paragraph more than once. I imagine it's a love it or hate it book - there's not likely to be many people in the gray. Give it a shot if you're up for something out of the ordinary - let me know what you think.

~~Random Quotes~~

"The decision to fail is often made in the pursuit of attention"

"Anybody who doesn't want or need something is dead. And anyone who needs something can be hurt"

"Once can correlate the amount of time a child spends on the school premises after the final bell has rung for the day with the degree of domestic dislocation to which the child is subjected"

"...an expatriate in the state of denial."

"To not be alone somebody has to connect with you and you have to connect with them... somebody has to make the emotional and intellectual effort to come with you as you ride the relentless waves of fear and hope, of pain and pleasure, of doubt and certainty, that inhabit the sea of human experience"

"The pleasure lives there when the sense has died"

"People tend to assume that there is a dichotomy between emotion and intellect. In Fact, it's really more of a continuum with emotion and one end and intellect at the other"

Friday Fill-Ins

Friday Fill-Ins

1. Follow the yellow brick road.

2. Sunscreen is something I always take with me on vacation.

3. To achieve your goals, you must be willing to fail.

4. I need to sleep is something I'd like you to know about me.

5. I have a lot to do!

6. Root beer floats.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to the end, tomorrow my plans include saving lives and Sunday, I want to SLEEP!

A Blank Page... for a moment

Leaving the old blog behind... moving upward, onward and all that.

If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now - when? (Hillel, Leo Rosten's Treasury of Jewish Quotations p. 459 (1972)

I always hate the "About Me" or general information sections that these social networking profiles throw at us. It's not the simple task of Hi, my name is Bob and my favorite color is blue - no, you feel obligated to really take the time to paint a deep and meaningful portrait of yourself. And realistically, social networking does not equate to a technological gathering of close personal friends, but rather you are divulging these "deep" facets of who you are to the general public - friends, enemies, stalkers, your children, your children's friends and future employers. So with that in mind - here's my attempt at an accurate and meaningful vignette of my own identity:

Professionally:

I adamantly stand by my assertion that my job is not my life - it is the means by which I fund my life. Despite this stance, I can honestly say I love my job - most aspects at least. My personality very much fits what I do. At the moment (and for the last 4 + years of moments) I work as a nurse - which strangely enough is the one thing I said I'd never do. Luckily, nursing is a profession that encompasses such a variety of areas that even a very Type A, introverted and detached individual -  such as myself - can find a career that fits. So, professionally - I am calm, objective, unemotional yet professional, organized, reliable and efficient. I may not be the one who offers a shoulder when a family member is crying - but I will be the one that keeps the rest of the staff calm and focused and prioritizing appropriately. So I obviously don't work in a nursing home or with hospice patients, but I have found my place in a Surgical & Trauma ICU. I love the job - the fast pace, the autonomy, the types of patients - the gunshots, car wrecks, and every random accident you can think of - in addition to surgical patients that don't go exactly as planned. Like any job, there are downfalls - the politics that come with a career in healthcare and of course, the workplace dynamics that are inevitable in a profession dominated by women. And as unexpected trauma and death are very heavy things to deal with on a daily basis, there is a very high burnout rate - and a high staff turnover. So, I myself am soon to be joining the ranks of the burnt out and turned over - a new job, a turn in the career path is upcoming...

Personally:

I sometimes joke that my job is like a vacation from home - and I get paid. That's not to say I don't like being at home, but being a parent is never easy - even in the most typical circumstances.  Responsibility is exhausting and overwhelming - but worth it in the end. I have three great kids - two of which are biologically mine and the other who is mine (despite the fact I am not old enough to actually have give birth to her...) They are the ones who were able to break my "unemotional" personality trait. So my home life is typical - with my three kids and golden retriever, I reside pleasantly in the state of domestic bliss (despite the incessant bickering, I wants and messes). And, like my job - home is full of surprises and change - though I'm ready for a boring, stable life...

Socially:

On the social interaction, beliefs and morals spectrum - I am an abundance of ostensible paradoxes. First for the socially constructed labels:

Homosexual - yes, for whatever preconceived reason you may think (genetics, choice, disease, fear.... pick your poison). 

Divorced - see above - among other reasons.

Parent - Despite the social constraints generally placed on the previous two labels, I am a very involved and effective parent.

Christian - yes, there are homosexual Christians.

Republican - and the anomalies continue...

I'm sure there are quite a few more, but I'm not a fan of social definitions and demarcating semantics. So, the synopsis: I am opinionated, assertive and strong. In a social setting, chances are I will be the quiet one - which is how people will describe me, until they know me. I have a handful of close friends, but I am not the person who walks into a social setting and knows everyone or talks to everyone. Since I tend to not say much, the things I do say are often very blunt. I would fight to the end for my children and my friends. I will stand up for the things I believe in - which despite the social stereotypes that often accompany the homosexual label - are very conservative. I believe that children should be raised by their parents, not their teachers - or their community - or anyone else. I am a huge believer in accountability - as long and hard as many people search, more often than not - the only blame any of us should be placing is on ourselves. The t.v., the school, the friends, the music, the video games - none of these things can make anyone or their children do anything.

So the required introductions aside (with too many words and more than a solitary tangent) - I will continue to transcribe the incessant pleonastic commentary running through my mind.

Probably one of the most despised masterminds of modern industry

Sounds drastic, but I mean it quite simply and any parent can understand where I'm coming from.

Nolan Bushnell - I admit, as the founder of Atari, he would be up for a Nobel prize in my world some days (I have a bit of a video game affinity- hand eye coordination, alter-reality is a great way to escape after a hard day) And from a corporate perspective - the man was genius and started a video game system revolution with a mere $500.

And believe me, my problem wasn't with him starting the video game generation - it was his next move that most parents cringe at - He sold Atari (making an incredible amount of money) and had the audacity to open the first ShowBiz.

And through a bunch of business mumbo jumbo and mergers and friendships and drama and blah blah blah, the now oh-so-popular Chuck E. Cheese chains were born, and parents everywhere cried.

Luckily in the process of all of this business, the step was taken to attempt to maintain the sanity of parents in this establishment - they obtained a liquor license.

Yes, I just returned from Chuck E. land. Really, it wasn't as bad as I'm making it sound and in all reality, it is an ingenious chain that is very well marketed. Heck, they even joined the new age paranoid revolution requiring all kids and parents to have matching black light numbers on the way in and out. It was asking a lot for parents to watch their own kids (that's a different topic all together). And hey, if my kids can play mindless electronic video games - earn worthless tickets to clutter my house with even more worthless prizes - and be happy - I guess it's worth it.

Your Parents are Gay? Call Child Welfare!

I've already established that an unfortunate number of people in the society are all too vocal in telling the homosexual community that they CANNOT be Christians. So on a similar line of reasoning, I imagine a comparable percentage would attempt to tell me I CANNOT be a parent. Their reasoning may not fall under the same "divine scripture" from thousands of years ago category, but I'm sure it is similarly lacking logic and research oriented proof.

Feel free to throw your arguments at me, because I am living proof on a daily basis that homosexuals can be just as good of parents as their heterosexual counterparts. And despite all accusations thrown out there, it is just untrue that homosexual parents somehow raise children who are gender confused or angry or more likely to be gay. Research has consistently proven this to be just wrong.

In reality, a parent is a parent - gay or straight. Parenting will have the same trials and tribulations regardless of the sexual orientation of the parent or for that matter, the child. There will continue to be children of homosexuals and children of heterosexuals that have emotional problems, behavior problems, learning problems - social problems. Attempting to blame any problems such as these on a parent's homosexuality is merely another societal attempt at blaming and excusing. The fact is - a bad parent is a bad parent, and they exist as both homosexuals and heterosexuals.

The fact of the matter is a homosexual parent is MORE likely to raise a tolerant, open-minded, free-thinking child. And a homosexual parent is LESS likely to pass on the traits of prejudice and hatred. Believe me, the world is already full of hatred, so a few more tolerant problem solvers will definitely help future generations.

Prevalence of Victims of Sexual Abuse in Homosexual Population

*From archives/previous blog*
I am sure there is research somewhere, or some deep psychological explanation with reasoning. But it seems to me that a large majority of the gay people I know have at some time in their life been victims of some sort of sexual assault, abuse, molestation or exploitation.

I imagine the critics of homosexuality as a genetic alteration would be quick to use this as a reason - that is to say, “I bet they were straight until that horrible thing happened to them. Now they’re just gay because they’re scared of the opposite sex.” Let me tell you outright - this is NOT the case.

Unfortunately, I do fall into the statistical majority. However, I was well aware of my sexual orientation long before I fell victim to one of society’s misfits. So, I don’t have a fear of men - and I am gay, and I always have been.

Perhaps it’s more a reaction to society’s condemnation of homosexuals. Because we live in a society that attempts to make us feel ashamed of ourselves, we begin to discredit ourselves as people. And perhaps in this process, a homosexual is more likely to fall victim to a sex crime - either because their self loathing and low self esteem makes them an easier and more vulnerable target or because their own devaluation of themselves causes a person to be more likely to put themselves in a dangerous situation - or to end up with people who don’t respect them.

I’m not sure why, and it’s sad that it is this way. However, I do not know a single person who “became” gay because they feared the opposite sex.