A Blank Page... for a moment

Leaving the old blog behind... moving upward, onward and all that.

If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now - when? (Hillel, Leo Rosten's Treasury of Jewish Quotations p. 459 (1972)

I always hate the "About Me" or general information sections that these social networking profiles throw at us. It's not the simple task of Hi, my name is Bob and my favorite color is blue - no, you feel obligated to really take the time to paint a deep and meaningful portrait of yourself. And realistically, social networking does not equate to a technological gathering of close personal friends, but rather you are divulging these "deep" facets of who you are to the general public - friends, enemies, stalkers, your children, your children's friends and future employers. So with that in mind - here's my attempt at an accurate and meaningful vignette of my own identity:

Professionally:

I adamantly stand by my assertion that my job is not my life - it is the means by which I fund my life. Despite this stance, I can honestly say I love my job - most aspects at least. My personality very much fits what I do. At the moment (and for the last 4 + years of moments) I work as a nurse - which strangely enough is the one thing I said I'd never do. Luckily, nursing is a profession that encompasses such a variety of areas that even a very Type A, introverted and detached individual -  such as myself - can find a career that fits. So, professionally - I am calm, objective, unemotional yet professional, organized, reliable and efficient. I may not be the one who offers a shoulder when a family member is crying - but I will be the one that keeps the rest of the staff calm and focused and prioritizing appropriately. So I obviously don't work in a nursing home or with hospice patients, but I have found my place in a Surgical & Trauma ICU. I love the job - the fast pace, the autonomy, the types of patients - the gunshots, car wrecks, and every random accident you can think of - in addition to surgical patients that don't go exactly as planned. Like any job, there are downfalls - the politics that come with a career in healthcare and of course, the workplace dynamics that are inevitable in a profession dominated by women. And as unexpected trauma and death are very heavy things to deal with on a daily basis, there is a very high burnout rate - and a high staff turnover. So, I myself am soon to be joining the ranks of the burnt out and turned over - a new job, a turn in the career path is upcoming...

Personally:

I sometimes joke that my job is like a vacation from home - and I get paid. That's not to say I don't like being at home, but being a parent is never easy - even in the most typical circumstances.  Responsibility is exhausting and overwhelming - but worth it in the end. I have three great kids - two of which are biologically mine and the other who is mine (despite the fact I am not old enough to actually have give birth to her...) They are the ones who were able to break my "unemotional" personality trait. So my home life is typical - with my three kids and golden retriever, I reside pleasantly in the state of domestic bliss (despite the incessant bickering, I wants and messes). And, like my job - home is full of surprises and change - though I'm ready for a boring, stable life...

Socially:

On the social interaction, beliefs and morals spectrum - I am an abundance of ostensible paradoxes. First for the socially constructed labels:

Homosexual - yes, for whatever preconceived reason you may think (genetics, choice, disease, fear.... pick your poison). 

Divorced - see above - among other reasons.

Parent - Despite the social constraints generally placed on the previous two labels, I am a very involved and effective parent.

Christian - yes, there are homosexual Christians.

Republican - and the anomalies continue...

I'm sure there are quite a few more, but I'm not a fan of social definitions and demarcating semantics. So, the synopsis: I am opinionated, assertive and strong. In a social setting, chances are I will be the quiet one - which is how people will describe me, until they know me. I have a handful of close friends, but I am not the person who walks into a social setting and knows everyone or talks to everyone. Since I tend to not say much, the things I do say are often very blunt. I would fight to the end for my children and my friends. I will stand up for the things I believe in - which despite the social stereotypes that often accompany the homosexual label - are very conservative. I believe that children should be raised by their parents, not their teachers - or their community - or anyone else. I am a huge believer in accountability - as long and hard as many people search, more often than not - the only blame any of us should be placing is on ourselves. The t.v., the school, the friends, the music, the video games - none of these things can make anyone or their children do anything.

So the required introductions aside (with too many words and more than a solitary tangent) - I will continue to transcribe the incessant pleonastic commentary running through my mind.